Traces

From what i see from my mum's life, she was unhappy w the family. So dont expect me to want to hav and believe in domesticity. I know i should not let the past dictate my present, and I have tried to do that by making the effort of spending time w the relatives. But that doesnt mean that the past's legacy is wiped out; traces of it will always be there, clinging onto my psyche like a dull blood stain. I still remember the various states of unhappiness of people in my family, and the pain that they inflicted onto each other, including me. So to me the family will never get to see the intimate, personal side of me. Ever since i was 14, i have made an unconscious vow which i still uphold, that there r things to tell and things not to tell, and the things got told lessen in number as I grow up. Of course I'm still expected to share, such futile hope that led to superficial reporting of unimportant happenings in my life.